It’s OK (For those heavy laden)

As the COVID-19, wreaks havoc through many countries and communities. Many of us by now may know of someone, somewhere who is suffering or may have passed away due to the virus.

Most of us regardless of where we are would have seen the impact of the virus on the economy, and many jobs may have not been spared. Even for those who are seemingly doing well and fine on the outside, I am sure there is a fair share of anxiety brewing on the inside.

Being cooped up at home, not being able to travel, meet our friends/families as freely as before, etc. The COVID-19 virus has spared no one, though it has done a much greater degree of harm to some than to others…

For those of you who have been constantly frustrated, plagued by anxiety, losing sleep, feeling distressed, here are some lessons I’ve recently learned that have helped me cope in these strange times…

• It’s ok to not be in control and let go

If you have a strong D personality like me, you often want to be in control. You want to feel that you are the master of the universe, that everything has to be perfect and mistakes are not allowed (For yourself, and often for others).

Well, the truth is that you’re not. No great leader in any world could’ve predicted the crisis we are going through now, many may claim that we should have seen it coming, but none would have been able to tell when and to the extent to which it occurred. And similarly, with many things in life, we do make mistakes, we do not have control of everything around us, and the more we try to be in control, at times the faster we lose grip of it.

Hence learning to let go, to tell yourself that ‘it's ok!’ Do not let a problem become bigger than it needs to be, do not let it brew and hold it too long to heart. Such problems will be a consistent source of negative energies and emotions; bitterness, jealousy, anger, etc. Of which are toxic poison to your soul.

Some problems in life are worth investing your heart and soul into, but there are many problems that are not worth you wallowing and sacrificing the happiness of yourself (and your family) for.

So learn to let go!
Letting go doesn’t mean being irresponsible or giving up. But simply knowing that you are not always in control, and as long as you have done your best, whether your plans pan out the way you want it or not is not always up to you.
As such when you do better, stay humble.
If you do worst, stay strong and persevere on!

• It’s ok to be weak and ask for help

For many Asians who are brought up with traditional Asian values, we like to posture ourselves as strong, fully self-sufficient, and self-reliant. Confidence in oneself own strengths and capabilities is certainly important for leaders who hope to inspire. But those who fail to recognize their own weaknesses and who are unwilling to be vulnerable in asking for help will never be able to build genuine trust and relationships with people around them, and instead, be blinded by words of praise they feed themselves with. Superficial words of praise are like brittle bricks the proud use to build their high tower of success on, which will eventually crack and collapse. A strong foundation to success is built instead on genuine relationships, forged with the essential ingredient of trust, trust that is cultivated in the presence of humility and vulnerability.

Contrary, it is ok to ask for help, it is ok to feel like you are inadequate, it is ok to implore for assistance and guidance. Nobody is perfect, and to recognize your own imperfection affords you the opportunity to grow. Being willing to open up to others to call for help and to also offer help, provides the opportunity to foster trust and bonds between individuals. It is often during trying times, that you see the true character of people around you.

Nonetheless as much as calling out to others for help when you’re in need, be equally if not more aware of those around you who might also be suffering. Speak with empathy, show some kindness, do a little good especially in these challenging times.

It is ok to be weak, and despite your weaknesses, you are unique and special in your own way.
However, do not stay weak, you have a choice, you always do.
Pick yourself up if you can, and if you need some help, call out for a hand.

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. (Matthew 7:7)

If you don’t ask, you wouldn’t know.

• It’s ok to fail and start over

“Failure is not an option” — I always believed that we need to fail to succeed. But in many of us, we refuse and reject the possibility that we can fail. We tell ourselves that we have to do whatever is required of us to be successful.

Though the reality again is that, failure is not an impossibility, but an eventuality. Rejecting the notion that you can and are allowed to fail, will only lead you to fall harder and take a much longer time, to get up and start over again! Do not fear failures, embrace them, learn from them.

Let each lesson teach you and strengthen you. Most importantly though, that it is ok to always know that no matter what the stakes are, as it is important to win, it is as important to know when to fold and walk away…

We play a long game of life. It is not the short-term victories or losses that define us. It is how we live this long life, our values, and the legacies we leave behind that defines us.

If you fail, start over! The day you stop walking forward is the day you have truly stopped progressing. Turn left, turn right, take a different path, as long as you keep moving, you will eventually arrive at your desired destination.
As long as you continue on your journey, there are always possibilities.

Each of us is likely fighting a different battle of our own in these troubling times. But never forget to let go, ask for help, and start over when you have to!

For those who are Christians, I hope that the following verses will be of help to you in your personal journey…

Matthew 11:28
28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

2 Corinthians 12:9–10
9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.